Saturday, October 6, 2007
Cooking in and Cooking out
I remember I was quite amazed to realize that most of the chefs working in hotels and restuarants are men. I must have been eight or nine then. Growing up in a society which has very clearly defined roles for both men and women, I took it for granted that cooking was an activity reserved for the female half of the society. And mind you, I was quite proud of it! There was atleast one thing of absolute necessity that only women could do, and do brilliantly. But when it came to cooking for a salary, it was men again. What a disappointment it was, and such a paradox! When in the confines of the home, and for the family, cooking is a women's duty, and the kitchen her haven. Some of the best sops are written in the kitchen you know. But the moment it becomes a source of income and economic independance, it goes over in the male territory. My economics textbook lists household work as not being an economic activity, since it is done 'out of natural love and affection for the family'. I guess only women can work out of natural love and affection, not men...
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7 comments:
nice little piece there.
tell me something, would you be comfortable in a situation where your dad stayed at home and cooked, while your mum went out to work?
no, seriously. imagine it. would you be ok? (assuming your dad is equally competent at housework as mum, for the sake of this discussion only!)
ummm....
your question got me thinking...
not only because its an uncommon situation, but because its never been the normal way in my family ever - of father going to work and coming back in the evening, and mother staying at home all day managing the house...
so as far as im concerned, yes i think it would be perfectly ok with me...now atleast...i cudnt say if it would have been ok 10 years back...
the point is that everybody should have the freedom to do what they want...now its considered the done thing for women to work and be economically independant, atleast in the metros, but what if somebody doesnt want to do it? Then the society works the other way...criticising that woman for not having enough spunk to go out there and work...
Or what if husbands want to stay and do housework? Prejudice works in all directions...
of course, i wrote my previous comment assuming that it was like that, with daddy working and mummy at home (also working but thats another story!)
the main problem as i see it, is the beast called society.
Society does not respect personal choices, if they dont confirm to what it thinks is the 'right way', which is basically the 'old' way....
If only we can unbelong, and let go of our social trappings, but then easier said, really. not practical always, i'm sure you'll agree.
Good thing is, of course that things seem to be changing.
the reason I was compelled to ask you that is because its never been 'conventional' at my place either :)
ps. gawd i sound heavy.
i agree with you completely...
Society does not respect personal choices, and it also does not respect personal space. Particularly in the Indian 'joint family' system, its very difficult to have some privacy, to the point that even married couples are starved for it!
I mentioned this point here because i feel that to develop an individual personality of your own with a strong viewpoint, it is essential to spend some time alone with yourself...not something I get to do a lot!
Most Bengalis I know consider it their righteous DUTY to ask personal questions as a way of showing concern....
The present generation is different though. (Or is it)
I'm a bong, I must hasten to add.
I wont mind personal questions actually. Atleast I would have the option of taking my time to answer them or ignore them altogether. (Or will I?)
In my family, the only place where you can be completely alone is the bathroom.
And Im not a Bong!
You aren't? Alright, my mistake then!
But I guess it doesn't make much difference, does it *grin*
I've always been a little uncomfortable with the idea of living under the same roof with relatives. Speaking of joint families, one curious thing I've noticed, is that the size of the house doesn't matter at all! Even if you have whole wings of a palatial mansion for your 'branch' of the big fat family tree, its just the same.
At the same time, it has its own, unmistakable benefits too, benefits that people from nuclear families are only too likely to overlook.
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