Moments of revelation

It was some 8 years ago, when I was 11 years old, that I realised how much I loved music. The realisation wasn't sudden, but rather prolonged, built up and in part contributed to by my mother, my guru, and myself. The next revelation was at one sultry June afternoon, when listening to Kalapini Komkali's rendition of 'Hans Akela', I suddenly found tears running down my cheeks. I saw then an unexplored emotional and vulnerable part of myself, that I had kept hidden in layers of denial and false stoicism in some weak corner of my soul.



My short journey through the twisting turning roads of life uptill now has been a series of such revelations, sometimes sudden, sometimes progressive - but always at the right time and place. Each one is like a spark, it makes the heart beat faster with excitement and realisation. After music, it was photography. My sister, a photographer herself, introduced me to Dayanita Singh's work some 6 years ago at an exhibition titled Go Away Closer. The images were an assorted set, referring to no particular time and place. I went through the series without feeling anything, without any reaction, positive or negative. It troubled me then, to not comprehend what i was seeing, but i conveniently told myself that photography was probably not for me. Some months later the exhibition travelled to Delhi, and i chanced upon it in a frequently visited gallery. And lo and behold, it was as if i was seeing the images for the first time! The photographs were alive now, talking to me, telling a story. One image in particular touched me deeply - it was a photograph of a young girl, lying on the bed, facing away from the camera. That photograph, for me, was the visual interpretation of the title of her exhibition. I could build stories around it, engage with it, feel as if i was actually there, my eye being the lens of the camera. What prompted this response? I dont know. But it was hugely satisfying. From then on, my attitude towards photgraphy has taken a complete U-turn. I not only appreciate it as a viewer, but also enjoy being behind the lens myself.

I could go on and on with such incidences. I walked past the board in my school for 5 years without giving it a glance, and then one day, I just stopped and read. It was a Harivansh Rai Bachchan poem - Jo beet gayi so baat gayi. And i realised the beauty of poetry and the power of the written word.

Life is like a tightly closed bud. You have to prod it open, little by little, for it to reveal its most beautiful parts to you. What is it about sounds, and words and lines and colour that moves me so much? I dont know yet. But I can spend the rest of my life finding out.